missingness

right now is the only place

right now is the only place
i can change my story

i declare it with my whole chest even
the new chamber of my lungs unlocked
with the full breath of being held

i am so angry to be misunderstood
– you are not hearing me

how can i tell you the missingness
everything that isn’t here

i don’t want to play with the gun

i am so tired of feeling like
i am too much for holding what i hold

these bones are ancient
rising from the prayers of the old ones
storied and sentenced
when the portals align
a dream hurled into the future
the reclaiming
you will not take me

i found my ground
rooted, i rise
gear shift power clip electrical current magnet –
the ground is alive

my feet are always my path home
my breath keeps the time –
holds me lightly

it is estimated a cumulus cloud weighs
about 1.1 million pounds and

it doesn’t fall because
the air underneath it is even
heavier

invisibleness is stuff
what i can’t name holds me heavy

essay means to attempt, to try
i try to write the shape of the void
as it’s edges constantly slide into
the pull of the black hole

air is stuff power is stuff
an apple simply is
no pol*ce enforcement required

i shake my illusions
grab my stories by the shoulders
are you true

the archer needs the heart of a thing